the need…

There are times when I’m so bored with my life that I just want to break down and scream, just for a little excitement. It’s not like I don’t have a million and 1 things to do… they are just not stimulating my creative soul. They are the daily activities that we have to do all the time just to get to the weekend when we are free to be ourselves and not be our “workweek persona”.

I think that’s one of the reasons I like to write so much, it gives me a break. Just like movies, books, and even music, can take you out of your every day life and transport you to a new location. They give you a little adventure, a little spice, heartache, they can even be written to make you feel better about your own life. Writing my own story, though, gives me the creative stimulation that I need to get through the month.

I always wonder, after several months of NOT writing anything, not creating a character or scenario, why I feel like I’ve done nothing. Why are things so dull? The answer is always the same, the pull to get back to it is always the same. I wonder if artists all over have this same feeling… a need.

Speaking of, I wrote the rough first chapter of my latest story a week ago. I should probably get back to that and see what my characters are up to.

day 2 down…

I  don’t plan on making a daily report of what I did or did not accomplish. I almost didn’t write anything last night, it’s been so long since I have created characters with depth or environments with textures, sounds and feeling that I feel really rusty.

I did write though, we now have a grand total of 877 words. I managed to go over my daily requirement, but I’m hoping that in the coming weeks it won’t feel so much like an effort. I also need to stop trying to get started on something at 11 p.m. I’m already exhausted by that time and getting INTO the story is just more effort than I want to put in.

Tonight we’ll try something new… a new tactic. Possibly starting at 10 instead!   Wish me luck.

30-Day Challenge!

No, it’s not your typical 30-day challenge. I’m not trying to lose a ton of weight, maybe a little, but that’s not the point of this challenge.

My challenge is to myself. Write for 30 days in a row, minimum of 200 words. It doesn’t matter if it’s horrible, just matters that I’m writing (although – try NOT to be horrible). I figure by the end of these 30-days I’ll have at least 6,000 words… possibly 2000 that are good enough to keep. You have to get the bad stuff out, to get to the good, right? I chose 200 word minimum so it wouldn’t be as daunting as 1000 a day… that’s a scary thought. I wrote 542 last night, and was exhausted when I put it away.

And no, writing in this blog doesn’t count.

Also, I’m a horrible blogger. Obviously, since I hadn’t written anything in 1-1/2 years. HORRIBLE! Perhaps this challenge will get me back into at least a weekly blog, one can only hope. Then I can stop having to listen to my friends, HEY – why haven’t you posted anything in, like, FOREVER?!?

Keep your fingers crossed for me, toes too… off I go.

Random Rainbows

All the time when driving down the road I spot a random rainbow in the sky. It’s not one of the follow me to the gold types, but a small little smidgen of what it has the potential of being. It’s like its playing hide-and-go-seek in the clouds. Days that I spot these random wonders, I always smile. There are times when I’ll see one a couple days in a row, and then it’ll be weeks or months before I see another.

 

I feel a connection to these rainbows. I spiritual one that lifts me up when I’m feeling annoyed or frustrated by something ridiculously unimportant that day. It puts things back into perspective a little for me.

 

I think the New Year is supposed to bring that perspective feeling as well. A re-evaluation of what’s really important. It is for me, I think about what is important, what will make me happy, what I want to accomplish. It’s not always a good feeling when things are re-evaluated, but it reminds you of where you wanted to go.

 

I was making a list of things that would make me happy. My car is broken once again, so a new, or at least continuously working, car is on my list. It’s one of those frustrating necessities that you need when you don’t live near a bus line or want to spend money on a taxi every day. I say we should just go back to horses.

 

Besides the car though, there were reminders on the list of what I really wanted for myself, spiritually, emotionally, and professionally. I had to frown because I’ve been putting the same items down for years and never have followed through or something has stood in my way. Is it a fear of striving for something different of those around you, or maybe its fear of cutting people out that hold you back, or is it just laziness? Maybe it’s a mixture of everything, but I hope I gain the strength to put myself on the paths that I want and I pray that they’re the right paths.

 

Who knows, maybe a random rainbow will show up again and tell me to rethink my direction.

Procrastination Station…

Alright… so it’s almost 7 days into the nanowrimo write-in. I have completed a whopping 2,800 words +/- 100 words. This is NOT good… I should be at LEAST around the 10,000 mark. But I do always work better under pressure, maybe it’ll get me going again. I was feeling bad about my character, the totally 1-dimensional beings that they are trying to be. I’m about ready to run them all over and bring in some new people. We’ll see if they survive the weekend.

I’m COMPLETELY looking forward to Twilight The Movie. It comes out on November 21st, and I will be there. I’m not sure if it’ll hold up to the book very well, but we shall see. I loved the series and developed a bit of a crush on Edward. If only my imagination was real sometimes. Ha.

Work is busy busy. I’m once again redesigning the website. Which is okay, because it’s going to be sexy!!! Yes, that’s right, sexy. It totally is NOT right now, but that’s okay because I got high Kudos for my new look. Yay me!

I’m sure there was more, but I think I’ll tuck the kids in and go brainstorm. Perhaps… although… cleaning and watching tv sound good too. *sigh*

NaNoWriMo

Okay… I’ve challenged myself beyond all other challenges. The obstacle that I always talk about doing, but never get around to. What is it? Wait for it…

 

I’m writing a novel!

 

Yes, it’s true. I’ve signed myself up for the most intense, sleep-deprived, stress-induced challenge that I’ve found to date. 30 days to write 50,000 words. Now I’m challenging YOU to join me in this roller coaster of emotion… www.nanowrimo.org. It’ll be exhausting, but I imagine it’ll be a lot of fun as well. I write from the top of my head, just a little outline to give me a little direction, and off I go. I’ve never done it to this extent though. 1,667 words a day. I won’t have time to travel, to call everyone in the world, even edit my fun-filled adventure. That’s right, I said it, no editing. There is NO time for that, besides I can edit in December and January! Find me on the site if you join and add me as a buddy… I look forward to seeing what you can come up with… my name there is… sabz028.

If you don’t hear from me sometime in December… I’ve perished in front of the keyboard.

Updates…

Updates on me… I bought running shoes. I’m not a huge fan of running, but I’m REALLY not a huge fan of how much weight I’ve gained since I quit all those other fun activities I used to do (fencing,  kick boxing, etc.) I guess that is what happens when you just sit on your butt in front of a computer all day, as I’m doing now. You just watch yourself conform to the chair. Blah. So I’m choosing one evil to fight another. I’m not just going to jump into it, because I think that will be a surefire way for me to lose interest quickly. I’ll start by taking walks… then walking and running… then just running. At least that’s the plan.

Also, my writing addiction has flared up once again in full-force. I have a short story that I’m going to submit to a contest, yep it’s already written, just needs a little editing. I think by entering contests it’s going to sharpen my skill once again… at least I’m hoping so. Wish me luck, I’m a little nervous.

Other quickies… Work is good, always busy. Kids are great, always crazy. Life is fine, always a roller coaster.

That’s it for now.

My Photo!

My photo was chosen to be in an online tourist guide!

This is the one they chose…

It’s a tiny inclusion… but I’m excited about it!

Relay…

It’s a rainy day here. We were supposed to do the Relay for Life for 24 hours starting at 10 am this morning, it looks like it’s going to be postponed until 6:00 this evening, and even then…I’m not sure how everyone is going to pitch a tent without sinking into the mud if they try to rest.

            This year a friend of mine is supposed to have a dedication of sorts, he died just little over a month ago from a motorcycle accident. He raised for the team a ridiculous amount of money, after his death. The thing about this that bothers me is, while I’m thrilled that so much has been raised for cancer research, why did people wait until after his death to give money to him. Why wouldn’t they have given the same amount while he was still alive? Is this supposed to be his last living legacy? (I hope not, I think his love he had for his family and that they had for him will be that legacy.) Maybe they would have and just didn’t have the chance; maybe this just reminded them that they wanted to donate… I think those questions will never be truly answered.

            I’m very proud of his fiancée to be able to pull through this and still carry on, it’s been a rough road for her, and I’m sure it’s not going to get easier anytime soon. I’m proud of her to be able to continue with this tradition that she started with him, even in her darkest moment. It takes a lot of inner courage and strength to do that. Hopefully next year, the memory of what has been accomplished for today’s events won’t fade, and the team will continue to have success, without any more tragedies.

            While I love the storm and can’t wait to chill on my couch with a good book, I’m hoping that the rain leaves a bit so the Relay can get underway, for all those that have worked so hard for it to come together and for all those it’s supposed to honor.

 

Fries…

I’ve given them up. Every time I eat them I feel heavy, greasy and gross. So I’m not going to order them anymore. I would say that I refuse to ever let one touch my lips… they’ve been part of my diet for so long, I can’t imagine going forever without tasting them again, but when I do, I doubt it will be more than a bite. This past week, I’ve not ordered them one time … tonight while out to eat I got them by accident (the restaurants fault, not mine). I took one bite, and I felt all gross. I imagine that will be how I feel from now on when I try them… gross. That’s not a pleasant feeling, and not one I’m going to force upon myself. I imagine everyone finds something they can’t stand to eat after awhile too. That’s my news… nothing exciting for you… but hopefully a better healthy eating style for me. I’ve been substituting salad and soup for the fries.